Me: "Do you (five year old boy) want to come back in our awesome play room for a little bit??!
Boy: "Do you have a computer?"
Me: "Yes, we have a computer and a Playstation, and movies, and lots and lots of games!"
Boy: "Is it a real computer?"
Me: "Yup. A real live computer!" (with a hint of sarcasm)
Boy: "Okay.. I'll come back." (Walks up to the computer) "I have to check my email"
Me: "Nope.. can't check your email. There's no internet on that computer. But there are lots and lots of games!"
Boy: "It appears that you do not have any of the games that I like."
Me: (remember.. this is a 5 year old) "Okay.. well.. what kinds of games DO you like??"
Boy: "Violent ones."
Me: (getting slightly creeped out) "Violent like... wrestling???? Football?? What kinda violent?"
Boy: "Violent like guns and killing people and blood. Those are the only games that I like. I like killing people."
Me: (officially creeped out) "Well.. you're right.. we don't have those games here.. because they are not suitable for children. You ARE a child, right!!?!" (I don't think I said that last part outloud.. but I sure was thinkin it)
Boy then proceeds to pull up Microsoft Word and types: "Hi welcome to the fake website i would like to play with you"
Me: "I think you should go sit out in the lobby with your mom"
*This dialogue does not give justice to how creepy this child was. No smiling. No expressions. Quite possibly the third or forth future serial killer that I've met while employed here.*
I. Love. My. Job.