Friday, May 29, 2009

It's a bug-eat-bug World out there...

Haven't seen much of SLICK today... Ya know, Slick, as in the L-I-Z-A-R-D that has made itself at home behind my computer at work. Yes, a friggin lizard. He's black and shiny and snake-like and creepy-fied and just downright GROSE. And now, missing.
Hey, here's an idea! Let me share with you the critters that have made nests in my office in the past year.
Exhibit A:
Meet Reece. Reece had lots of friends and enjoyed afternoon naps, gourmet chocolate, Christmas cookies, and chewing through cables. Reece passed away in the ceiling sometime in January. (the stench was ridiculous, but the rat poisoning did its' job)

Exhibit B:

Meet Un-named creepy bug #322. These sweet little runners are EVERYWHERE. You can hear them in the ceiling, or riffling through your stuff. One of em fell from the ceiling one day and landed on my keyboard while I was typing. I just about went into labor.

Exhibit C:
Meet Suzie. Suzie lived a long, healthy life behind the box of beanie babies for a good month or two. We never met any of Suzie's family, but we were pretty sure that she was not a loner. This is pretty much the actual size of Suzie, until she was splattered on the carpet with a steel-toed boot in late November 2008. Suzie was a freaky little crawly thing that will (not) be missed.

Exhibit D:

And last, but certainly not least, our (not so) good friend Slick. Slick is the newest edition to our lovely office. He enjoys catnapping behind my HP computer, long walks on the wall, freaking out unsuspecting employees, and sticking out his tounge. (he also effectively eats exhibits B and C, which is his ONLY endearing quality)

*Side note: my office is NOT located in a rainforest, farm, city, or swamp. No, these critters are good ol' Knoxville-Critters. Maybe I should change my job description from Child Advocate to Park Ranger?


  1. okay, creepy bug 322 is just WRONG!! ewww!

  2. The money and any perks you may receive are not worth it... quit your job today! I would offer to come help you pack up your office but I'm too scared.

  3. I love lizards! They are beautiful and far more scared of you than you are of them. And, as you pointed out, they eat bugs. I say give Slick a chance ;-)

  4. I think I could do okay with Reese and Slick, but Creepy Bug #322--those freak the crap out of me. Bllleeeeeegggh, I just got the shivers.

  5. Um, that second bug makes me want to run screaming.

    That's like my very own personal hell.