The strange and sometimes charming thoughts of me.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
I am woman....
I started writing a blog entry today about how sucky it is to be a woman, and how easy it is to be a man. It was hateful and mean and completely hormone-driven. (Still, it was typed with more than a grain of truth... but it wasn't necessary) So, I stopped to reflect. Things seem hard right now. I am loved beyond measure, I have a beautiful little yellow house surrounded by tall green trees, I have a job that is (semi) rewarding, and I get to eat twice the amount of food because I'm pregnant with the most precious baby girl ever. Yet, I still feel pretty darn miserable today. Besides the actual physical pains of being pregnant; the terrible doctor's appointments, the extreme sleepiness, weird heartburn, tight pants, and awkward kicks from within... I am so drained emotionally. Everything is fine and dandy.. and then it hits me. Hits me hard. What the heck do I know about having babies!?! Where will she sleep? Will she sleep? Will I sleep? Will she be healthy? Will I know what to do if she's not healthy?! How do you change a diaper? How much do diapers cost?! Will we make enough money????? Truly, the questions go on and on and ON. Despite this being a month of ups and downs, money woes, sleepiness, doctor's visits and unplanned bathroom remodeling... it is still completely wonderful to be a woman. ESPECIALLY a woman who just married the most amazing trooper of all time. He gets to put up with my mood swings and my insomnia; my 75 wardrobe changes and my constant tardiness. (when I think of it that way, it sure does seem harder to be a man.. having to put up with ME) He doesn't provide answers to all of my 350,000 baby questions.. but he does provide love and security and the common sense to tell me that everything-will-be-okay.