I was cleaning my office today (yay! Go me!) and simultaneously attempted to give myself a black eye. I know, I have MAD skills, right? You all just WISH that you were as talented as I am! (or.. well.. clumsy) I was just sitting there, taking in the clean freshness of an orderly desk, when out of nowhere... I JAMMED MY FINGER IN MY EYE. What was I doing? Fixing my makeup? Reaching for something? It's all such a blurr, that I've convinced myself that there was a lapse in memory... maybe a concussion? Maybe my arm just spazzed out for a second and WHAM! If I was attempting to fix my makeup... THIS was NOT the way to do it. UNLESS by "fixing" I meant: to cry black mascara tears all over my bright yellow sweater, lose any and all makeup that was once on my right eyelid, and make a total fool of myself while trying to explain that I wasn't upset but that I had randomly stuck my finger in my eye. Yah, somehow I'm supposed to raise a child in five months...and when my child sticks her finger in her eye, I will have nothing to say to that.
But anyways, I cleaned my office today; it's gotten mixed reviews from my coworkers. (some of which asked me if I was quitting soon because it looked so empty) --(I WISH!!! Actually, I've quit this job several times in my dreams..... mmmmm) But, no, I'm not quitting. (unfortunately)
Here is a list of items that were removed from my office:
1. A broken printer
2. Two broken telephones
3. Four boxes of papers left by my bossdude over the past year (WHICH I will promptly recycle)
4. Two tubs of candy from three Halloweens ago
5. My New York Jets autographed picture of Chad Pennington (1. because they suck 2. because Chad betrayed us 3. because it wasn't feng shui enough)
6. Three boxes of USED file folders that got sent to my office to die about six months ago (my office reaks of death by abandonment)
7. Two stinky candles. (my Super-Sniffer couldn't take the smell of Cinammon/Musk/Vanilla/Christmas Trees anymore)
8. Stuffed animals, fake plants soaked in dust, phone books from 2005, and one case of recalled toys made with lead.
9. Oh yeah, and ONE cowbell.
10. Not to mention about 1o tons of dust
:) Hooray for junk-free-spaces