Posted September 27, 2008
So, yesterday I wrote the longest of long blogs.. it was emotional, exciting, enthralling, fabulous!! ....... until I accidentally deleted it. :*( So, instead of trying to retype the entire thing, I think that I'll just come up with a new topic. Right now I'm sitting at the laundry mat... stealing their internets. I feel like such a little thief. It's not the most relaxing place to let your thoughts out. There are generally random loud noises, strange smells, and little feet stomping back and forth impatiently. Yet, somehow I have found relaxation in this most uncomfortable place. Lately, I have decided to make the best of my surroundings. If it's raining, play in the rain. I think that people forget how to play. Maybe it's something that I learned from my Dad, who is the one person who will NEVER forget how to play. I feel guilty when I'm not happy.. like I am unappreciative of the life that I was given.
I know a woman who lays in a bed in a nursing home, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week... dreaming of what the sunshine would feel like again. She would appreciate an opportunity to sit in a laundry mat, and watch the children's feet pitter-patter around. She would giggle at the thought of watching the cars go by, and dream of jumping up to open the door for a stranger. I want to remember her every minute... to think of how thankful she would be if she could do the things that I take for granted every single day. She would want me to be thankful of the little things, and to focus on the big picture of life...to realize how BIG life really is. Most of all, I know that she would want me to know God... someone who I never knew before... but I know Him now. I am complete, and thankful, more whole than I thought whole could be. I am in love with the world in an entirely beautiful way. I will remember Priscilla, and how she could lay in her bed in the middle of chaos, and smell the ocean; how she could close her eyes and see the rolling mountain tops that she hadn't seen in years. I want to take in those memories like they would be my last, and hold on to them like they may disappear if I don't. I am inspired today. Thank you God for opening my heart to your beauty. Please help me to hold on to the happiness, and to let go of everything else. Some things in the world are messy right now, but I know that if I trust in you, then it will all work out in the end. Thank you so much for making me smile today! :) Oh!, and thank you for my Scott... he is such an incredible blessing to me. I believe that the world will be a lot easier to live in now that we have eachother.