Wednesday's are my thinking days...

Posted September 10, 2008
The 8-5, mon-fri thing is achingly crappy. I have to find a way out of it. I love my job, don't get me wrong. It is the most rewarding thing in the world to make an unhappy child giggle and grin. I couldn't have dreampt of a better feeling than that; AND getting paid to do it. BUT.. I am terrible with schedules. I HAVE to defy a schedule. I HAVE to push the limits of time-restraints... question -- Why can't I show up at 9, and leave early when there are no appointments?? I need valid answers to those questions, or I know that I will be forced to make those decisions on my own, and ultimately face consecuences that are unfair and silly. On the flip side of time restraints, I DO know that I need structure in my life. If you tell me to make my own schedule, you will never see me again... but anyways, all that I'm trying to say is that I need to find my way. I have to help the children that surround me. They are my future. They are my grandchildren. I was once in their shoes; helpless, innocent, honest, pure. I just need to find a way to help them where I'm in the best possible environment to do so. All of us need to do more to change their lives... or else the cycles continue for decades and centuries to come. I am more passionate and sure about that than I am nearly anything else. I'm just asking God to put me in a place where I can do my best. I can't figure it all out on my own... but I'm trying.. everyday 8-5, Monday thru Friday...