Life. Is. Awesome.

Wow. So, at this point in my blogging life.. it's either time to throw this thing away or overhaul it completely. Not sure. For now, I will update...

Since October of 2010 (which is the last time I blogged), so so sooo much has happened (of course. Such is life). One of the main things that happened is that I left my job of three years to go back to my very first job. Why, you may ask... well, many reasons.. but mainly because it was toxic and ugly and well, just plain disheartening every single day. For all you social workers out there - more power to you.. and thank you. So, what job did I go back to? Chick-fil-a. Yes, folks... I went from investigating child sexual abuse cases to serving chicken. And, wow.. what a relief. I'm not sure how long I'm supposed to stay at Chick-fil-a, but I was blessed with the option to go back (when I really didn't deserve it), and has really introduced me to some wonderful people. That was my favorite thing about Chick-fil-a ten years ago, when I started working there. The people. People that aren't infatuated with other peoples' downfalls. People that care about you, not backstab you. People that are NICE. REAL PEOPLE. Can you tell I'm a little bitter about my last job?

So, besides the serious change in the workweek.. Novalee. My beautiful daughter is even more beautiful and ohmygoodness SO smart! She began having conversations with us WAY before she turned two. And now her 2nd birthday is about a month away. She now tells us when she's hungry. And not just hungry.. but she wants specific things.. cheese, broccoli, chicken, turkey, chips, noodles, cookies, ice cream (she is her father's daughter 100%). She also tells us when she wants to play outside, go swimming, take a bath, change her diaper, go to the potty (yay!).. it's just flat amazing. One year ago I couldn't get her to say "mama". It really is the most spectacular part of this world. She loves: (in no particular order) Cinderella, the moon, thunder, swimming, Ernie (from Sesame Street), turkey, popsicles, coloring, jumping on the bed, her brothers, choo choo trains, running in circles, sunglasses, broccoli, her pillow, dogs, juice, and so many other things. And, she'll tell you she loves all of those things, and she'll even tell you she loves you. Now, how's that for an update since October.. when she was just learning to say "no". There have been hundreds of times when she's made me cry and smile at the same time. I could go on and on.. but I'll move along.

Some things really don't change.. and that's plum okay with me. Scott and I celebrated two great years of marriage this year. We even managed to get away to Asheville, NC for one whole day! I would say that it was one of my top 10 days of my life so far. We walked along the artsy city for several hours, stopping at an art fair.. ate fantastic food, went on a boat tour of Lake Lure, and (my favorite) stayed in the most gorgeous hotel that Asheville has to offer.. hot tub in the room, free champagne, valet parking, room service, just gorgeous. We really are meant to be together. I may have screwed up in other departments of my life, but I most surely picked the right person to spend my life with. We are different and so alike. I have been so proud of him lately. I hope he's proud of me. It's hard to be proud of going back to your first job in life.. but I have so many other things to be proud of, that it sort of makes up for that. :)

In just a few days we are taking our first family vacation. That's pretty darn exciting news around here. We don't even know what to do with it. But, until then.. I must go take Novalee outside so that she can wait for her daddy to come home, look for the moon, and follow the fireflies.

Life. Is. Awesome.

Feeling blue...

I am feeling sad today. Let's just say that the stress levels around the McMahan house are BY FAR the highest they've ever been. We both feel like we're trying our darnedest - only to be buried by another round of ammo. This higher level of stress has caused an unusually high number of unnecessary arguements that would otherwise not exist.

I feel sad that I'm not as strong as I thought I was. It turns out that I am not always as fun as I thought I was. And that I'm also pretty difficult to have a serious conversation with.. I am extremely emotional, defensive, and just plain worn out by never feeling okay with choices I've made. I am lucky to have Scott, who I can lean on.. but I also feel like I've placed huge burdens on him that he just cannot handle or should not have to.

This is all very personal and really only written down to remind me of the good times.

I feel selfish when I want to have a good time. I feel dumb for expecting this to be easier. I want to jump up and down and scream and cry and scream some more until my throat is sore and my fists are red.

My wish, today, on this sad Monday is that Scott could know that being so sad has only temporarily changed me. I hope to be fully recovered from this sadness in a short time, so that I can get back to being a supportive, loving wife and an energetic, adoring mother.

Decision time....

So, here's the scoop:
Let's talk about careers, shall we? My first major in school was Interior Design (what?), then Business Management (BOR-ING), Marketing (I can't sell anything to anyone), Graphic Design (never even signed up for a course), and eventually Journalism. Talk about a girl who can't make up her mind! This has all been extremely frustrating for me and has pretty much landed me a job as an Administrative Assistant answering phones and vacuuming carpets. The office that I ended up in investigates severe cases of child sexual abuse. (Does this sound like a career in Interior Design, Management, Marketing, Graphic Design, OR Journalism?) No. I held on tight to this job thinking that I would eventually be promoted to Victim Advocate. Didn't happen. So, I decided to get back into school and go ahead and get a degree since NO ONE ON THE PLANET will hire me for anything other than answering phones. It all sounded wonderful until I remembered that I STILL have no idea what I want to be when I "grow up" <-- if that ever happens. I have wasted hundreds of hours on classes that are now meaningless (textiles 1010 for instance) and I refuse to waste any more of my (precious) time taking classes that could potentially be meaningless to a future degree. Let's also talk about the value of a degree, shall we? I won't mention any names, but E you know who I'm talking about.. I have SEVERAL, no let's make that DOZENS of friends with degrees - some with MASTER'S degrees - that are unemployed/working at Target/living with Mom right now because no one will hire them. How much is a degree really worth nowadays? Is it worth the 12 hours a week that I'm spending in a lab in front of a computer? Is it worth the 4 to 5 days that I go to work at 8 am and don't come home from school until 9 pm? Is it worth only seeing my daughter for approximately 16 hours a week??? 16 HOURS!! (And 1/4 of that time she is SLEEPING)
What I'm trying to say here is that I've reached a very crucial time in my life.

I am changing my major one FINAL time to... (drum roll please).... Teaching. There will be NO - I repeat - NO changing my major after this decision is made. I figure that the education system is already screwed up enough, how could hiring me make it any worse? Ha! It's time for me to stick with something and see it through to the end. If teaching doesn't make me happy, then honestly.. what will? Sure, I would love to lay around the house, make jewelry, bake unhealthy cakes, travel the country, and sing songs about freedom.. but I wouldn't be out there making a difference to society, and by-golly that is my obligation as an American Citizen! That sounded terribly cliche, but I believe that it is true. So, starting today you are reading the blog of a future teacher! (Don't cry)
I want some feedback here, for those of you who know me pretty well.. to teach or not to teach? That is the question.

A different kind of music shop

I recently read an article about a Knoxville couple who quit their jobs to start growing and selling organic produce. I have often had many dreams of being my own boss; some of which included: my own shoe store, coffee shop (although I couldn't tell you the difference between frappuccino and cappuccino), flower shop, graphic design company, practically anything to relieve me of an office environment. I am so thoroughly inspired by people who take the plunge and do what feels right to them. One of these people who took this said "plunge" is Josh Sidman, the owner of a new kind of business called The Parlor.

First of all, Meet Josh:

Josh has a resume that you couldn't make up if you tried. A few highlights in his career include: working on Wallstreet for the successful global investment banking and securities firm, Goldman Sachs; where he traveled from New York to London to Tokyo to you-name-it. Also add to that list: Actor/bartender in New York, trying his hand at TV and film production in L.A, and musician. Josh is an incredibly talented mandolin player; which I might add that he had never even picked up until he was 27 years old. He started taking himself seriously as a musician and spent 7 years touring in various bands from New York to San Fransisco. One of those bands, The Earl Brothers, eventually led him to Knoxville, TN; a placed where Josh admits that the music scene is something really spectacular. He even surprised me a little when he compared Knoxville to other well-known artistic communities like Asheville and Portland.

Most recently, Josh began his most ambitious project yet, The Parlor. The Parlor is what he likes to call, "a different kind of music shop", and it truly is. Not only do they not sell one single brand-new instrument (they specialize in high-quality vintage instruments), they also offer a unique style of teaching music lessons (more of a mentorship), an instrument repair shop, and even catering services provided by Josh's business partner, Rita Cochran. Many of their recipes call for fresh produce grown from their very own back yard. Josh is also finishing up renovations to the downstairs of the 100 year old building located in North Knoxville, and he expects to be finished sometime around December 2010. He plans to transform it into a deli/coffee shop and most importantly a listening room that will house performances and provide a comfortable space for people to eat and hangout. Josh says that his inspiration for The Parlor was watching the environments that his musician friends were teaching lessons in. A majority of the time the parents would stay and wait for their kids to finish their lessons, and really had no place to go during that hour or so. The Parlor will hopefully provide a great environment for those parents to relax, and the students to learn. While the downstairs is currently under construction, I highly recommend giving Josh a call to peek at his amazing collection of vintage stringed instruments upstairs, some of which are over 80 years old. You can check out his website and support this innovative business by visiting: http://www.theparlorknoxville.com/

Just a few of the many vintage instruments from The Parlor:

The view from the upstairs of The Parlor:
(part of the vegetable garden)

Sing me a song....

A few goings on...
It's winter time here in the Smoky Mountains. The love of my life is singing his heart out to a crowd that just turns up the football game to tune him out. It's not their fault. They came here to watch football. We came here to make $150... regardless of how many people listen. I love him for putting himself out there like that. My job seems so easy when I think about it......